I would like to know why when my body is giving me some communications that obviously I have ignored, it has to reach some levels where I do not have the control any more.

The invitation for you, is to let go the control of the thick bodies, as your modality in this phase of your Path, is still the one to remain attached to the belief that through the rational and emotional, you can control, handle and address your life into the matter. But since you have made a choice to Awaken, inside yourself is clear that all this is an illusion. Therefore, the conflict that is produced inside yourself between the rediscoverd Truth, and your choice of action into the matter, that is still attaced to the old vision, is bringing you very strong comminications about leaving the thick control in order to let you be guided by what is True.
Is it clear for you?

No, I still do not undersand why manifestations that are painful, debilitating, humiliating, should help me in this process.

Since you are observing them through your emotional and mental body, giving credit and drama to the physical pain. In Reality, in not the physical pain that can help you, but the communication that you have to abandon the control of your thick bodies.
In order for you to understand, all that is happening, is what is manifesting inside yourself and is the ongoing conflict between what you perceive, and what you have rediscoverd, and what you believe you can do, in order to obtain a result. Therefore, for you the moment has come to make a peremptory change in respect to your attitude towards Life. If you observe the areas of your earthly life, there is a conflict in each one of them. Do you understand what I mean?

Yes.

Therefore, you are keeping the attitude to solve the confloct into the cause – effect, forgetting that there is nothing and nobody external that is against you, since what you are observing outside of you, is your manifestation. Therefore, is by embracing the Unity that You Are, that you will move beyond the conflict. Is not by searching for strategies or tricks in doing that you can have an artificial result. The resullt will continue being what is happening inside yourself

Excerpt of a Channeling from the Source session
of 02.03.2023